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Airesford, a place of good magick and good eatin'.
"Humor, fantasy, romance, and zombies, with a side of pterodactyl
butter."
How had she ended up living in some alternate-reality corner of
England, half in love with a gay vampire?
Twenty-seven year old Laura Corben is a typical American
Neo-Pagan, working in a new age shop, when an old man comes in and
says he's her long-lost grandfather. He wants her to come home, to
what she thought was a childhood fantasy. This place, of myth and
legend and fine cooking, concealed in the mists west of
Glastonbury, south of Pwllheli, left at the roundabout, past
Minnie's Tasty Tarts, is Airesford, where long ago dragons,
unicorns, and talking lizards found refuge beside spell-casters,
rune-readers, and fry cooks. At Candlewick Castle, she is
introduced to a bewildering array of sorcerers, sorceresses,
masters, apprentices, pastry chefs, cafeteria cooks, witches,
viceroys, the jousting team, novices, sauciers, spell-slingers, and
discordians. Not only does she have to buy a new felt wardrobe, she
also has deal with her own growing magickal abilities and confront
the myriad magickal creatures of Airesford, not the least of which
is snarling (but handsome in a creepy vampire way) alchemy Master
Cedrus Narke, who is apparently trying to kill her.
How had he so offended the gods that he should be smote with her
and her lack of life signs?
Enigmatic Cedrus Narke is Airesford's youngest ever alchemy
Master. No one who knew him would ever make the mistake of thinking
he was romantically available, or even desirable, and that's just
how he likes it. No puzzle is too small to for him to solve, no
annoyance too small to overlook, and the new crystal teacher Laura
is both puzzling and annoying. She has a disappearing aura, she
chews gum constantly, she is American, she is hiding something. He
just knows she is a fraud and a spy, sent to destroy his homeland
from within, and he will stop at nothing to prove it. All of
Airesford depends on his finding out what type of mayhem this
clumsy, soft American is planning. But when he drags her into the
forbidden tunnels beneath Candlewick Castle, his worse fears are
realized.
On the Eve of Beltane, evil acquired the strength to get up and
have a look around
Kalimot, an ancient lich, is ready for another run at Airesford
after a hundred year nap. A sorcerer of the fifth element, he was
forced out of the four-element alliance that created Airesford long
ago, and he vowed eternal revenge. With his loyal but incompetent
guards, a zombie army of unwilling volunteers, a giant cauldron,
and a large pot of rubber cement, Kalimot is ready to march across
the mountains, if only he can overcome an ever-worsening series of
seizures threatens his bodily integrity as well as his ability to
rule.
Live together, die alone
The four elemental clans of Airesford must unite to fight this
ancient evil, or succumb to the Kiss of Kalimot and become part of
his zombie army. Now it is up to a ragtag group of instructors,
chefs, gardeners, cleaning staff, gnomes, dwarfs, potion dealers,
line cooks, instructors, students and even viceroys, not to mention
hyperactive children wearing antique armor, to defend Airesford
against Kalimot, his guards, and his zombies.
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